Riesen Schnitzel

I don’t understand why ladies use all those creams…
I just tell them to eat more…
After all, fat fills out your face and so you don’t get wrinkles…
His name was Karl. The words in italics above, are his words. Before he even started to take our order, he took one look at Jason and told him he would have a beer. His big round belly proved that the food was going to be good. And when the plates arrived, I understood why someone had written across the menu: Biggest Schnitzel in Europe. I didn’t know where to start.
My lovely Berlin friend had texted me at just after 6am saying do we want to eat Riesen Schnitzel. I was still half asleep but seeing the words Riesen (enormous) and Schnitzel (will be explained shortly) was all my tummy needed to give a growl. This was a no brainer…
Schnitzel is a chunk of usually pork (in Germany anyway) that is hit repeatedly with a hammer and then covered in breadcrumbs before being fried. It often comes with potatoes, but everything in Germany comes with potatoes, so that’s no surprise. It’s a hearty and filling dish and this one was enormous. It definitely lived up to its name. It must have been half a meter long! The waiter came by a few times for a chat and a giggle and to check our progress. He was very proud of his tummy and told us it had taken a lot of effort to get it so round. He even let us in on his secret: the reason his body had no wrinkles is because he ate and ate and then ate some more. We learnt that wrinkles were evened out by fat. He moaned about his brother Louis, who was in the kitchen. Apparently he is the angry one. Karl is the fat one, who should have retired long ago. If all you want is a chuckle, I would recommend visiting this little gem. If you want to be so full that even hours later it is hard to breathe, this place is perfect.
The place is very old-fashioned in its décor. It’s full of the older generation and feels very relaxed and friendly. We were lucky enough to share the place with the local Chow Chow dog club. I kid you not. There were huge dogs (lions?) lying all over the floor. Apparently sometimes all the owners bring their pets for their monthly meet-up and there can be around 8 or nine of them inside the restaurant. I had never seen a dog with a blue tongue, but anyway… back to the food.
From the photo you cannot see the sliced roast potatoes hanging out underneath the meat. Or the red cabbage we got as a side order to be healthy… ahem. Or the dessert we ordered when we all thought we were going to burst. Let’s just say, this time we were defeated. It seems this is normal however, as without a word, Karl came over and put an industrial sized aluminium foil roll on the table so we could take it home. You can see the leftovers in the photo. Guess what we will be eating all day tomorrow?
More information at: http://www.cafe-restaurant-louis.de/